My New Normal

All I ever wanted was to be a mother, and once I became a mother, it wasn’t all I ever wanted. I loved my daughters with all my heart and found the “tasks” of being a mom easy. I breastfed, wore my kids constantly and co-slept trying to be a “good” attachment parent. The emotional aspects of parenting are what eluded me. I didn’t “understand” my kids, their upsets and what they unearthed. Crying, tantrums and general discontent seemed to trigger an SOS in my nervous system, leaving me feeling at a complete loss as to how to respond appropriately. I wanted it to stop and did everything in my power to make that happen. The shushing, rocking, swaddling, bribing, distracting and punishing left me exhausted and feeling awful about myself and my parenting. Had I just known then what I know now, that crying is OK, feelings are part of being an emotional person and listening is the key to helping babies and children feel heard and understood....

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